Episode 5: On Teaching

“The secret to teaching is to appear to have known all you life what you learned this afternoon.”

I’ve written a few versions on teaching, but things are constantly changing, and I’m always thinking of new things to say. Currently I am sick, everyone I know is also sick. This is one of the major downsides to teaching. You will be in the middle of a lecture and hear 20 kids sniveling and coughing and think, “oh crap.” I also spend a good amount of time teaching kindergarteners to cover their mouths when they cough. Sometime kids just run up to see you, and you think, “Andy, dude why are you sticky?” In short, kids can be gross and make you sick. My immune system definitely wasn’t prepared for it.

I was quite amazed how quickly I became comfortable in front of the kids. I have some of the largest classes, which I’m constantly working on how to handle them all. I teach some of our youngest kids, and when they start at the school, they don’t realize that I don’t speak Chinese. Before or after class, kids will come up and shoot off in Chinese or try to say that another kids pushed them, and I just have to say “Teacher Beth doesn’t speak Chinese.” Brah Brah Brah Nope teacher Beth, still doesn’t speak Chinese. I am picking things up from the younger kids. Howard: Teacher Beth, wo mei you storybook. Me: Howard, why don’t you have your storybook?”

It’s very hard for me to teach grammar to children mostly under the age of 13. I see things in a much more complicated way, but I can’t explain conditional phrases and tenses how I was taught. Teaching English has made me aware of how absolutely messed up the English language happens to be. Try explaining to a 3rd grader, “I have to run, I want to run, I like to run, I can run.” They really don’t understand why we don’t say I can to run. For another example, let’s look at teaching plurals and phonics. Everyone say cups, [s] sound? Now say cooks, [s] sound? Now say birds, oh [z] sound?! We use and s sound for the plural of any word that ends with k, p, or t, but a [z] sound for everything else. That was honestly something I had never realized before. I still haven’t a clue whether or not I’m a good teacher, the kids seem to not hate me, so that’s a plus.

I spent a good part of October teaching kindergarten subbing for other teachers. Now I avoided teaching kindergarten when I came, thinking I wouldn’t like small children (well I was concerned I didn’t like any children). Oddly enough, kindergarten is my favorite. This might be because there is little grading and lesson planning. There is added bonus of snack time, naptime, and coloring, which are already three of my favorite activities! There is however everything else that comes with kindy, nosebleeds, sobbing and vomit, (yes, it must be Monday). I came to really like the kids. They have English five days a week, so you can actually have little conversations with them. Plus they seem to love you unconditionally. Now I can’t walk around the school without small kids yelling “teacher Beth,” afterwards I usually have to think “Do I know that kid?” Some of them are absolutely adorable, and you can’t help but pick favorites. Or I guess I can’t help but pick favorites.

The kindy kids are also very curious. They end up getting in your face and hugging you, and so some started to see my nose piercing and saying “teacher what’s this?” I never thought they would notice my piercing. I just ask them if they like it, and they say yes and run off to the next thing that catches their attention. On Halloween, one girl put rhinestones on her cheeks except one little rhinestone on her left nostril. Like me! Oh yeah, that got to me a bit.

It’s interesting to watch the smaller kids try to express themselves in English. They don’t fall back on Chinese like the older kids and aren’t concerned with self-image. If they don’t get a turn at a game, they say, “teacher I no play.” Yes it’s broken English, but they put together a subject, negation, and a verb. I find that pretty interesting. Some of the words in English seem superfluous. On kid, Campbell, likes me for whatever reason, and when working on numbers said “Teacher Beth, I love you 100.” Well to Campbell, 100 is a lot, so he gets his point across.

For me now, the challenge is explaining things to kids so young, not getting sick, and keeping my energy up. Three-fourths of teaching kids is pure theater. (I stole that quote from someone, don’t know who.) My kids know my routine now and are getting a little bored with it, so I need some new ideas. As most of you know, in teaching your successes are small and few and far between, but it helps when they happen.